DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I started struggling with our bills after the unemployment cut. My job is still closed and my boyfriend is unemployed. To earn extra money, I decided to create a private fan page where I share exclusive photos and videos of myself.
My boyfriend is aware and is not happy. He wants me to stop. I have a huge and ever-growing following on my page, and it brings in a lot more money. I am finally, for once, moving forward on my bills and able to do more things.
My boyfriend wants me to shut up. I do not want. He threatens to leave me. Should I shut down my biggest money-making app or let it go?
DEAR MONEYMAKER: I understand both sides on this one, and it’s hard. While it’s not a new concept for women, in particular, to use their bodies to make money, it can be hard for a partner to come to terms with it. There are so many issues involved with this – from your personal safety to shared values to the bottom line.
You have to talk about everything. In order to survive this moment, you need to be on the same page when it comes to your values. Talk about what’s important to you, what you can handle and what you can’t. Talk long term and short term. Since you’re both in dire straits right now, maybe you can create a schedule for how long you’ll be making these posts, so you can keep your house together and put some food on the table. Talk about strategies for finding work.
Also be aware that if a potential employer finds out about what you do, it could jeopardize your ability to get that job. Most jobs have ethical guidelines that they follow, and suggestive and/or sexual content is generally not on the list of accepted activities.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I lent my car to my sister to take one of her friends to celebrate her birthday. I have one of those older cars you have to know how to drive and it runs fine. My brakes sometimes need a little more pressure than average. I told him before giving him my keys. She ended up falling into a bender.
She’s not on my insurance, and I told her I expected her to pay for the damages. She claims I put her in an unsafe vehicle and she shouldn’t have to pay for the damages because it’s my fault that my car isn’t roadworthy. I informed her and she took the car anyway and doesn’t want to be held responsible anymore.
Am I wrong? Or should she pay the damages?
RELEASED BRAKES: You are guilty of letting your sister drive a car when she was not covered by your insurance, regardless of the condition of the car. Your sister is ethically responsible because she was driving the car and she was the one who had the accident.
Of course, she would have to pay the damages. However, it may be difficult for you to apply it. In the end, you have to take care of it, but you have to make your sister understand that she is responsible. She knows it. Do your best not to let her get away with it.
Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send your questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.